theroomyouneverenter:

slimetony:

transgirl-princess:

slimetony:

guys lets brainstorm a post

setting: 1950s london

*british accent* oh fuck i got my balls caught in the trolley. sure glad the beatles arent around yet to write a song about this

balls in the trolley, asking for help all alone while he cries out in fear

no one comes near

nutsack is hurting, it’s caught between rivets and pulleys and gears

nobody hears

(To the tune of Eleanor Rigby)

prrb:

tilthat:

TIL it is illegal in the state of Texas to own more than six dildos

via reddit.com

rcktpwr:

ketthens:

You ever needed to peep at someone’s willy so bad you’ve ripped the stall divider off in a blood rage?

this generation so obsessed with their phones that they dont even bother to look at each others cocks anymore well IM NOT HAVING IT

sovietnam:

kidzbopdeathgrips:

kidzbopdeathgrips:

i invented pussy

^ me being awarded the nobel prize for inventing pussy

Grammar

cynical-jerks-r-us:

“Bite me, asshole” = grammatically correct and scathing

“Bite me asshole” = kinky pirate

powerandglxry:

horror writers and devs: this nasty garbage man is the scariest and most traumatizing thing we’ve ever created, isn’t he terrifying?

ya’ll every single time:

carly-gay-jepsen:

cloudytomboy:

hungwy:

hungwy:

Italy is the horniest country on the planet

Horniness is derived from proximity to the Vatican

Horniness is like a hurricane and the pope is the eye

kuueater:

go-to-rakuen:

Low key worried this game is gonna make me a furry and I’ll been fucking a bad dragon dildo by the end of this game lmao